A long complicated problem can anyone help?

I have just lost my grandfather and I lost my grandmother a year ago. I have been feeling quite out of it. its not that they ped away ( I am saddened over that too) but I keep finding out little details about their life as the days p. for one thing I just found out that my grandparents were divorced about five years ago. but in my grandmothers will it says that she is divorced but that my grandfather is her life partner. I don't understand that. but the main thing that i did not understand is why all the secrecy? its killing me. its like my own grandparents were complete strangers. what the heck? can anyone out there explain why so many secrets from the ones that loved them the most. or why not at least a deathbed talk from either of them?